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You are here: Home / Dating / Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s: 6 Practical Tips For Success

Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s: 6 Practical Tips For Success

July 20, 2021 by Jean Pierce

Last updated on March 15th, 2023 at 05:05 am

We may receive commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

The dating scene has a wide and varied pool of people from all walks of life. Some are searching for love, others quite content to take their time playing the field and having fun. Frequently, you’ll come across folks who are fresh out of long-term relationships, including marriages. This leaves many people wondering what it’s like dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s.

tips for Dating A Divorced Man In His 30's, 40's, & 50's

Everybody on the dating scene has a history, as do we all, but some people may find it intimidating to find out the man they’re interested in dating used to be married and is now divorced.

It’s not uncommon to experience some anxiety with the uncertainty of dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s. What if their last relationship was toxic? How will it work if there are children involved? How can I cope if he’s on good terms with his ex-wife?

There will be challenges to overcome when you first start dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s due to a number of scenarios you’ve never previously experienced. However, that doesn’t mean facing these challenges head-on isn’t worthwhile. Men who have been married may have a better understanding of long-term, serious relationships than someone who has never experienced one.

Post Contents

  • Six Tips For Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s
  • 1. Confirm That His Divorce Has Been Finalized
  • 2. Understand His Ex-Wife Will Probably Be Part of His Life
  • 3. Consider How Long He Has Been Divorced
  • 4. His Relationship May Have Been a Traumatic Experience
  • 5. Understand He May Never Want To Get Married
  • 6. Dating a Divorced Man Who Has Kids is Challenging
  • Help For Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s

Six Tips For Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s

Listed below are six pieces of advice for you to follow if you’re considering dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s.

1. Confirm That His Divorce Has Been Finalized

While the relationship might essentially be over, there’s a massive difference between a person who is in the middle of a divorce and one who has had his divorce completed.

No matter how long you have been separated, until your divorce has been finalized, you’re legally still married, which brings with it a whole new potential set of problems.

There’s always the possibility the man could reconcile with his wife, or maybe his ex-spouse harbors the desire to win back her husband, which could get messy. Divorces are both time-consuming and mentally exhausting, which could leave him emotionally unavailable.

Ethical quandaries aside, if you’re dating a married man, you leave yourself emotionally vulnerable and open to pain and heartbreak. It’s worthwhile waiting until his divorce has been finalized before getting involved to avoid any needless suffering.

2. Understand His Ex-Wife Will Probably Be Part of His Life

While it’s not always the case, you’ll frequently find that a man’s ex-wife will always be part of his life in some capacity, especially if they have children together.

If the former married couple has children, they’ll need to communicate with each other about the child’s well-being regularly; there may even come a time when the two of you meet.

There’s the possibility that his ex-wife has formed a strong emotional bond with his family and that it could take time for them to recognize you as his new love interest.

It can be mentally taxing to date someone who has consistent contact with his ex-wife, especially if you’re naturally insecure in relationships.

Check out the 139 Best Dating Profile Headlines for Guys.

3. Consider How Long He Has Been Divorced

Though his divorce may have been finalized, he could still be emotionally unavailable if he started dating quickly after the divorce.

Listen to how often he refers to his ex. He probably needs more time to get over his relationship if he frequently speaks of her.

If the man has been divorced for many years, it’s more likely that he is comfortable with his history, and it won’t cause problems in his dating life. A person who can recall his marriage without anger or resentment is likely ready to date, and it shows his character too.

It’s essential to consider that everyone reacts differently to divorce, but you can gauge a person’s mental position by listening intently to what they say and trusting your instincts.

4. His Relationship May Have Been a Traumatic Experience

Getting married is a lifetime commitment, and for one to end, something serious often has to happen. While love occasionally wanes over time, it’s possible something traumatic caused his marriage to end.

Abusive relationships leave long-lasting scars on a person, as do relationships that suffered from infidelity. They create trust issues that can cause a man to build an emotional barrier that can be difficult to break down.

It’s your responsibility to show him that you’re your own person and that just because his ex-wife hurt him doesn’t mean you will too. However, you’ll need to be patient as overcoming painful relationships is not something that happens overnight.

5. Understand He May Never Want To Get Married

Suppose your long-term wish is to find a partner to marry. In that case, you have to consider that a formerly married man may have no desire to remarry, especially if his first marriage ended badly or if his divorce was acrimonious.

If getting married in the future is a non-negotiable for you, it’s essential you find out as fast as possible to avoid any future heartbreak.

There’s no harm in having honest conversations before committing to a relationship. Having been married once already, he’ll likely understand the need for this kind of conversation and will welcome your honesty.

If he’s been married and divorced once already, he may be reluctant to put himself in a position where it could happen again.

6. Dating a Divorced Man Who Has Kids is Challenging

You never really understand the challenge of raising children until you experience it for yourself.

A parent’s love for their children is unwavering, and he will (or should) always put his children before his partner. This could be difficult to accept, especially if you don’t have children of your own.

It’s a good idea to wait until you’re both positive that you’re in a committed, loving relationship before meeting his children to avoid any potential and unnecessary harm to the kids. Forming a bond with someone only for them to disappear from their lives is emotionally damaging to children.

If you want to have children in the future, it’s essential to discuss with him his desires. While some men will be open to the idea of having more kids, when dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s you’ll frequently find he might be reluctant to become a father again.

Remember …

Though it can be challenging dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s, his history isn’t “baggage.” It’s an experience that brings with it understanding and knowledge.

Follow these six tips to make sure you know what to expect and that you give your relationship the best chance to succeed when dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s.

If you’re a divorcee, be sure to check out our best tips for dating after divorce.

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Help For Dating A Divorced Man In His 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s

Are you interested in dating a divorced man in his 30’s, 40’s, & 50’s but nervous about all of the potential issues that may come with that situation? Or are you a divorced man who is considering dating again, but worried about how to approach the dating scene, or struggling with possible emotional effects left from your previous marriage? Online-Therapy.com has trained and licensed professionals that can help you navigate these concerns from the comfort of your living room, and on your schedule. There’s no shame in speaking with a therapist who can offer support and advice with all of your relationship concerns and struggles. Don’t put it off any longer: reach out and get the guidance and help that you deserve today.

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Category: Dating
Additional Resources

Education and inspiration are the first steps on your road to your new life before, during, and after divorce. To aid our community members to navigate the next step in their divorce, DivorceHelpForParents.com has partnered with leaders in online divorce, wellness, and mental health. DivorceHelpForParents.com may be compensated for referrals by the companies highlighted below.

Online Divorce – 3StepDivorce is the best online divorce service if you have a simple, uncontested divorce. They make completing your divorce forms super easy and convenient. Answer the questions at your leisure and your finished documents will be instantaneously available. Get Started Now! 

Online Divorce Counseling – Online-Therapy.com enlists thousands of licensed therapists who provide affordable and convenient online therapy. OnlineTherapy.com starts at only $36 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started Now! 

Co-Parenting App – Our Family Wizard is the best co-parenting app available. If you have kids, you need this! If you dread communicating with your ex, a co-parenting app is a godsend. Lots of companies have created unsuccessful, poorly designed co-parenting apps. Our Family Wizard got it right! Managing expenses and coordinating childrens’ schedules is a snap with Our Family Wizard. It also keeps a secure record of all communications in case you ever need it. Get it now!

QDRO Preparation – QdroDesk.com is our top pick for online QDRO preparation. When you need to divide pensions or retirement funds, then we recommend QdroDesk.com. The QDRO process may seem complicated. QDRO lawyers are costly and some online QDRO platforms are cumbersome. Fortunately, there’s QdroDesk.com, which offers an easier, faster, and cheaper way to divide your pensions, retirement, and more. Go to QdroDesk.com now!

Name Change – NameChangeKit.com is the best when changing your name after a divorce. You don’t need to spend 8+ hours drowning in paperwork. Changing your name with Name Change Kits is nearly effortless and can be done in less time than it takes to cook dinner. Start your name change now!

About Jean Pierce

Divorce strategist, researcher, author, and entrepreneur. When faced with my own divorce, I realized that nearly everyone facing divorce craves inspiration, support, and information. The Internet has changed the way people can get divorced. DIY and online divorce is legit, simple, and much cheaper than traditional divorce. My team and I aim to make DivorceHelpForParents.com the leading authority in online divorce resources.

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